For this edition of TT/T, we're looking at a Nintendo classic:
Mario Kart Wii, a great game (minus the motion controls), is filled with many colorful and imaginary worlds for you to race in. But, have you ever thought about what it would be like to actually live in them? Probably not. That's why we did the thinking for you! It's PiP's tier list for "Mario Kart Wii tracks I'd be least likely to die in if I lived there."
We would talk about our reasoning behind every single pick, but we don't get paid enough for that, so instead we'll talk about our most contentious/interesting choices.
Daisy Circuit was an obvious first place. The lack of enemies, beautiful and serene surroundings, plus a great choice of properties to choose from. The track also gets bonus points for having no traffic, unlike Moonview Highway which is lower on the list because of it. To top it off, the music is perfect, 'nuff said.
Now, Peach Beach should be higher on this list, but it has two quirks holding it back. Firstly, those ducks that throw you twenty feet in the air make the beach impossible to relax on. Maybe, if the Piantas hunted them to extinction it could be nice, however, the volatile shoreline just ruins the whole beach. If you move to Peach Beach, stay away from the beach, but that seems a bit counter-intuitive...
GCN Mario Circuit has one fatal flaw, it's littered with all of Mario's most fearsome foes. We've got rows of Goombas, a giant Chain-Chomp and pipes filled with Pirahna Plants. The only reason it's so high up on the list is because Peach's castle can be found in the map and it's fair game if you decide to live in there - just don't go outside.
Lastly, and this should have been the most obvious, Rainbow Road is by far the most deadly track in Mario Kart Wii. IT IS IN SPACE, YOU WILL DIE, CASE CLOSED, NO QUESTIONS. At least it looks pretty.
Written by: annie & kirb
Uploaded on June 2nd, 2023